CAM: Why, hello. I'm Cam Winstanley, and I'm the editor of AMIGA POWER. For our second AMIGA POWER CD we've decided to let you, our readers, see how we put the mag together. Come on.

(Cut to Cam walking through office.)

CAM (gesturing about himself): This is the AP office, where all the work gets done. (Big to camera.) Well - some of the time. Ha ha ha!!! (Laughs violently but hollowly exactly in manner of Edward R Pressman in Crimewave. Stops.) Let's meet a few of the staff.

(Cut to Cam walking towards door. He looks back over his shoulder at us as he walks.)

CAM: This is what we like to call the "writers' pool". Let's go and talk to them and - hey! - perhaps they'll tell us where they get their ideas from. (He gets as far as "Let's" before the door is flung open and he is cut down by a figure with a Thompson. Cam flails back out of frame in time-honoured victim fashion. Cut to angle on crumpled body. Overturned desk. Shadow of figure across it. Cut to close-up of dead Cam. Figure kneels and pulls at face. It is a mask. Tears off in one go the entire length of Cam's body to reveal he is a sinister blank-faced man in a suit. Figure turns into camera. It is the real Cam.)

REAL CAM: They've come.

(Music - Roger Whittaker's "Mexican Whistler" - starts as we begin fast-paced trailer montage.)

Roger - but as a 1m 02s, 255K MPEG-2 layer III file.

(Cut to exciting car chase. Looking straight on as flatbed lorry swerves back and forth. Camera moves in, up and over cabin to flatbed. Two figures are fighting. One is Suit. Other is Jonathan, who has written himself an interesting-looking character. He wears a bright red suit covered with black exclamation marks. Black shirt. Red tie with exclam. Red gloves. Cardboard box on head with hole cut out at front in manner of diving helmet. Another box inside with different expressions drawn on each side. He is facing away from camera but receives punch in face which jerks his head round. Inner box spins momentarily to stop on zapped expression.)

(Cut to middle-distance Rich Pelley at doorstep, picking up milk bottle. Milk bottle explodes as he is shot.)

CAPTION zooms into black screen: THEY

(Cut to Paul tied to chair in Reservoir Dogs warehouse that Cam knows of. One Suit is pulling at his ear while second brings up chainsaw. Door bursts in and Cam rides in on motorbike, spilling it and firing pistol over it as he slides. Shoots Suits without hitting Paul. Chainsaw flies into air. Cut to back of chair. Chainsaw plunges into floor, severing bonds.)

CAPTION zooms into black screen: ARE

(Cut to fist banging on table. Three other people sitting down. Masks on table before them. Masks are swept up. Cut to slow-motion shot of masked Suits walking out of boardroom. Adjusting faces. They are JD, Steve McGill and Steve Faragher.)

CAPTION zooms into black screen: EVERYWHERE

(Cut to Sue in middle of mix-it-up scrap. Dropping punched-out Suit. Two Suits rush from either side, one drawing gun, the other drawing a sword. She forearm-smashes both simultaneously, crosses her arms to draw their weapons, then uncrosses to shoot one and skewer the other at the same time.)

CAPTION zooms into black screen: TRUST

(Cut to Cam, Sue, Paul, Jonathan sitting at table eating lunch. Second group of Cam, Sue, Paul, Jonathan walk in. Both groups draw guns. Mexican standoff. Both Cams reach for eath other. Grab hair. Simultaneously pull off masks to reveal both are Suits. Cut to hands pressing plunger. Restaurant explodes. Pull back from plunger to show real Cam, Sue, Paul, Jonathan.)

CAPTION zooms into black screen: NO ONE

(Cut to Sue looking at tank. Baby Suit floats within. Suddenly it leaps forward against glass.)

(Cut to chair turning to reveal Stuart Campbell with vertical half-mask as Big Suit, stroking blank-faced cat.)

(Cut to Jonathan spinning inner box to reveal quizzical look, glancing to left.)

(Cut to beaten-up Paul carrying sledgehammer, framed in blackness as hands reach out from behind.)

CAPTION zooms into black screen: BELIEVE

(Cut to airship, then to control cabin. Cam, Sue, Paul, Jonathan and JD, Steve M, Steve F and Big Suit are engaged in huge fight over vitally important control box. Cut to Cam and Big Suit struggling. Box is knocked out of window.)

(Cut to field. Paul swings AP sickle at man with beard and moustache. Cut to slow-motion shot of beard and moustache flying off as in Evil Dead II.)

(Cut to Cam grabbing strut. V quick cuts of hands clasping others. Cut to slow-motion low angle of vitally important control box falling from airship, followed by Sue grasping at it, holding on to Jonathan and Paul and Cam in a human chain.)

CAPTION zooms into black screen: NOTHING

(Cut to Big Suit and Cam facing each other in profile.)

BIG SUIT: Your entire society is wrong.

CAM: But we are always right.

CAPTION slams into black screen: AMIGA POWER THE MOVIE

CAPTION slams into black screen: SUMMER 1996

CAPTION slams into black screen: THE FILM WITH ATTITUDE

VOICEOVER (screaming): Let's disseminate essential information!!! (Sound of machine-gun fire.)

(Cut to Cam, Sue, Paul and Jonathan walking into camera as a huge explosion goes off in the distance behind them, the music finishing with stupendous timing.)

(Cut to black.)