A Mega Drive magazine, often unfairly maligned in favour of its sister mag Super Play but possessed of one of the most distinctive mag spirits in living memory, despite the fact that half of the reviews were written by people other than those they were credited to (see Total).
MEGA ALL-TIME TOP 100 - July 1992
A Top 100 feature that I wrote but had no part in the compilation of (except for forcing the inclusion of Aero Blasters at No.3), and which is hence a bit lacking in conviction. Produced very early in the Mega Drive's life, with the result that half of the games get entries saying "It's pretty rubbish, actually". The only good joke is the Spider-Man one, which I won't spoil for you now.
PRINCE OF PERSIA REVIEW - August 1992
"Rips the heart out of this and dances on its grave"
THUNDERFORCE IV REVIEW - August 1992
"The question thats been on the Pet Shop Boys lips has to be asked"
COBRA COMMAND REVIEW - September 1992
At the time of review, this game was known only as Game X, Sega being adamant that it wouldn't carry the name of the Japanese version (Cobra Command). In the end, of course, it did.
SUPER HIGH IMPACT REVIEW - September 1992
"All the games excellent features are rendered utterly useless"
WORLD OF ILLUSION REVIEW - October 1992
"At about half-past ten he realised he was still thirsty"
BATMAN RETURNS REVIEW - October 1992"Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear."
RAMPART REVIEW - November 1992
"Prelude A LApres Midi DUn Faune"
TERMINATOR 2 REVIEW - November 1992
The Arcade Game, that is.
NOBANUNGA AND HIS NINJA HORDE REVIEW - December 1992
"A hundred words into the review and Ive given away the conclusion already"
SECRET OF MONKEY ISLAND REVIEW - January 1993
A review in which I provide my own counterpoint, since I was compelled to write the main body using the voice of someone else who liked the game a lot more than I did.
STRIDER 2 REVIEW - January 1993
This review turned out to have been done on the basis of an incomplete version of the game which had been given to the editor for another purpose and (allegedly) on the understanding that it wouldn't be reviewed. Accordingly, the magazine was actually pulled from the shelves after it went on sale. Eventually, the finished version of the game was produced for review some months later. It was identical.
G-LOC REVIEW - February 1993
I actually offered to go on Gamesmaster and do a Golden Joystick Challenge on this one by completing the first six levels on the hardest difficulty setting blindfolded and with one had tied behind my back. I could do it, too. But they were busy, or something.
SEWER SHARK REVIEW - February 1993
"Makes G-LOC look like The Secret Of Monkey Island"
HOOK REVIEW - February 1993
"There I was, congratulating myself on my sneakiness"
SUNSET RIDERS REVIEW - March 1993
Mega reviews were never credited to freelancers, but to one of the four or five permanent members of staff. This was a source of competition among freelancers, who would judge the apparent quality of their work according to who took credit for it (eg if the review was deemed to be a good one, it would be credited to editor Neil West, whereas a less accomplished piece might be bylined to art editor Amanda Cook). This review sees a cunning attempt to force the issue.
MUTANT LEAGUE FOOTBALL REVIEW - March 1993
"When gameplay lets you down, turn to extreme violence..."
COOL SPOT REVIEW - April 1993
He's so cool.
WOLFCHILD REVIEW - April 1993
"Someone, somewhere, is driving a Lamborghini Diablo at high speed down a private track, and you're paying for the petrol"
JAGUAR XJ220 REVIEW - April 1993
Features a strange metaphor where something that evaporates goes "Pop!"
STREET FIGHTER 2 ARTICLE - May 1993
"It simply bleeds character"
NEWS SECTION - June 1993
This is still the only occasion I've ever heard of where a magazine has freelanced out its own entire news section.
BOB REVIEW - August 1993
"You've already played a hundred platformers better than this. What's the point?"
TECHNOCLASH REVIEW - August 1993
"A Viking feasting hall viewed from above the ceiling rafters"
NBA ALL-STAR CHALLENGE REVIEW - August 1993
CHESTER CHEETAH REVIEW - July 1993
"Watch him as he howls along to his own guitar playing and say I'm wrong"
F-15 STRIKE EAGLE REVIEW - July 1993
"It's like buying a Ferrari Testarossa then using it for stock car racing."
FANTASTIC DIZZY REVIEW - August 1993
"The simplistically cutesy graphics and the charmingly chirpy music"
FIFA INTERNATIONAL SOCCER REVIEW - October 1993
The first ever FIFA game. If only we'd know, we'd have become watchmakers.