Melfax Modem Cards

1. A photograph of a field of poppies with a modem card in it.

2. A wide-eyed rodent leaning against a modem card.

3. An aerial shot of a driver ill-advisedly letting her concentration slip from watching the road to plugging a modem card into her laptop.

These, then, are our favourite three incomprehensible ads from Melfax, truly the stars of Mystery Press Release Corner, which we interpreted as

1. Great-grandfather machine-gunned walking steadily towards the enemy trenches in World War One? Commemorate his sacrifice with the Melfax Modem Card.

2. Antecedents lingeringly killed by the Black Plague? Let their names live on with the Melfax Modem Card.

3. Bicycling gent crippled by bull-bars as you struggle to fit the Melfax Modem Card for that important on-the-move call? Contact your lawyers swiftly with the new, slimline Melfax Modem Card Deluxe.

We were never quite sure if Melfax were Benetton-arty or really didn't know what they were doing.

(Though it's a bit of a giveaway that they kept sending us news of things we evidently weren't interested in in the slightest as we pointed out in the quarter-page jokes we humiliated them with month after month under their carefully-scanned photographs.

Oh, hang on.)