Stuart Campbell

Except, of course, that I wrote half of this one, and also comprehensively overhauled and rewrote the bits Cam did in order to prevent it from being easily the worst thing he'd ever produced in an otherwise exemplary career-long display of uniformly superb (if abominably-spelled) writing.

Of course, the feature then won a Future internal award, for which Cam got to go to dinner expensively, while I languished uncredited at Sensible Software. Dickens, the irony.