Obtain this game (14K); and its sounds (233K).
The gentleman OBSERVES the spirit of SPORTSMANSHIP.
The gentleman CONDUCTS himself with SEEMLY DIGNITY.
The gentleman shall IMPRESS upon OTHERS these qualities by his CHARITABLE ACTIONS.
 |
The gentleman knows that the enlisted foe is but doing his DUTY and shall not take advantage of the sluggard villein when singly the officer is worthy of ENGAGEMENT. The gentleman shall sportingly SLIP FLEETLY through the ranks, his pistol mercifully holstered, his only defence a QUICK-WITTED feint to draw his enemies into dispatching one another. |
 |
Thus the gentleman's score shall be accrued without overt hostile action. The only acceptable means of Robot elimination shall be COLLISION OF ROBOTS: with each other; with walls; with BARON OTTO VON EVIL; with the electrical discharges of their unmindful fellows. The robots shall be the multifariously-coloured battalions of the WELL-KNOWN game and not the POOR MONOCHROMATIC COUSINS of Berzerk Early. The gentleman may submit his score directly. The moment of final defeat shall be preserved as documentary evidence. |
| Fleetness |
| 1st | 1,900 LORD JESUS |
| 2nd | 1,600 BARRY GIBB |
| 3rd | 1,200 VLADIMIR ZHIRINOVSKY |
| 4th | 1,050 MS MARGARET THATCHER |
| 5th | 950 MICHAEL RYAN |