So, everyone's finished queuing up for their new N64s and things have settled back down to normal. But d'you know what, pals?

I hope it's the last console ever released in the UK.

Strictly hardcore!

PAGE 2

"That's it. He's finally lost his mind altogether." You might be saying.

But I haven't. I'm not saying I don't want there to be any more new games machines. I just don't want them to be released over here.

Why? Just the obvious reasons - we have to wait a year and a half for an inferior machine at three times the price it costs anywhere else in the world, then wait another six months on top of that to play the games.

PAGE 3

And though you might not think it, there IS an alternative.

Because I simply don't understand why Nintendo, Sony, Sega et al bother. All they get is hassle and complaints, and a whole pile of extra work diligently trying to stop people playing foreign games on the "wrong" console.

And of course, WE all lose out too, for the reasons already covered, plus we get punished for having the audacity to spend even more money buying imports.

PAGE 4

Everyone's a loser with the current PAL vs NTSC situation. So try this:

Hardware manufacturers - release your machines in Japan and the US. Then stop. The rest of the world can manage fine on imports, you don't have to mess around with PAL or territorial coding.

Everyone gets to play the same games at the same time, nobody has to put up with inferior merchandise, you can concentrate your efforts on developing new and better games and consoles.

PAGE 5

It's a simple idea, but a perfect one.

Import consoles are already cheaper than official ones (don't believe the lies), and if all retailers were selling the same thing the competition would force the price even lower.

After all, Japanese cars, TVs and stereos aren't twice as expensive as British ones just because they're imported from Japan, are they?

(Answer: No.)

PAGE 6

Even after paying import duty and taxes and everything, UK shops could easily afford to sell import consoles for less than official ones cost now, and still make a much bigger profit themselves.

The only reason they don't do it at the moment is that the console companies make it very difficult for them, by threatening legal action and refusing to supply the shops with software.

I just don't see what everyone has to gain out of these shenanigans.

PAGE 7

"But you've forgotten about people whose TVs can't display NTSC signals."

No I haven't. The fact is, practically every TV sold here in the last decade can display NTSC pictures, and even if yours can't, getting the console itself altered is easy and cheap.

Think about it. No more waiting. No more letterboxes. No more clunky, expensive adaptors. No more getting ripped off by 250% price markups. Sounds good, doesn't it?

PAGE 8

So there you have it. Another great idea to make everyone happier and richer. Don't mention it.

Of course, like all great ideas that would make everybody happier and richer, it hasn't got a snowball's chance of ever actually happening.

Why? Because YOU put up with being treated like third-class citizens time and time again.