BUM da dum dum dum DUM da da DA bum bum... HEYYYYYYY
CANOE SQUAD!



"Wait a minute, you kids! You can't go out there!"

"No way, Mister - the world's waterways are for everyone, and that includes CANOE SQUAD!"

Thus began each episode of one of the most famous "lost" children's programmes, rediscovered and championed by AMIGA POWER's resident master in his world of media, Dave Green. The adventures of Australian paddle-people Sub, Brick, Harry and Lizzie thrilled their youthful audience through three eventful crook-packed seasons, despite production problems that included alcoholism, firings, heart attacks and a "copycat" drowning.


TomboyDreamboat
HarrySub


Even the unmatchably comprehensive AP baulked at the amount of information Dave had compiled on the programme. Expecting a poorly-photocopied TV Times schedule and a list of subsequent star sightings In The Style Of... Dave's favourite scary fanzine, the one about Janet Ellis that includes stopwatch timings of her every promotional appearance, we received instead a thrombosisly fat folder containing comments from the producers, an ultra-rare postcard set of the cast, newspaper stories on the show (including the scandal over the tragedy drowning), a poorly-photocopied TV Times schedule and a photo of Dave shaking hands with "Sub Donovan" in a market in Camden in 1986.


Action GuyDrip
BrickLizzie




Resultingly, AP60's pull-out feature on the show resembled in spirit a Golden Age Review, straining to burst with overkill explanatory text (down to the nicked-from-an-ad truth about the theme tune and a still from the practically unseen British spin-off pilot, for heaven's sake) and interviews with the creators (though thankfully no photographs of large hairy writers). Ironically, especially as Dave was involved, it was the very thoroughness of the research that brought it into question. Hurt and upset by unpleasant reader comments that nothing that detailed could possibly be real, Dave never again wrote for AMIGA POWER.


SquadDave and Sub, omitted from AP60 due to lack of space. Also, Dave's grin scared us
Canoe SquadDave meets Sub, 1986


Viewers of Adam and Joe's Fourmative Years, the funny 15th-anniversay examination of Channel 4's most horrible programmes, will probably have noticed that in one of the blipvert-style montages, there was a shot from Canoe Squad - specifically, the bit from the end of the kidnapped dog episode where they all laugh until the police arrive, except the dog's unnoticedly just looking into camera. The programme was never on Channel 4, and when AP2 asked Dave if his involvement with late-night TV extended to, say, suggesting a cracking clip for his showbiz chums, he chuckled and denied everything. Readers may draw their own conclusions.