*Famous to readers of AP as the inventor of It's A Skull, the Automatic Isabelle Rees Letter Generator, the Automatic Isabelle Rees Generator 2 and Battling Popes, although not the last three as the Automatic Isabelle Rees Letter Generator perished in the razing of the AP Offices, while the sequel and the pope game were lost when his hard drive collapsed, but still, eh? you all know the Valhalla Remix at least, Paul Hamilton started life as Quinsen Peege, a comfortable knoll that, due to a quirk of geography, caught the sun for over nineteen hours a day. Tiring rapidly of the constant obscuring reflections on his television screen, Colonel Peege left the corps and opened a small bookshop. The knoll was a ruse.

Examining some of the older books one afternoon, having taken over the shop as a going concern by murdering the previous owner with an axe, the Colonel was surprised to find no vitally important state documents thought lost since 1802. Immediately, without pausing even to turn over the little sign in the window that said "Back soon" and showed a clock with plastic hands you could move to the appropriate time, or find his axe, he left in disgust and a cabriolet.

Years passed. As they did, many exciting things happened, but they were all missed because everyone was looking in the other direction to see the years pass. While on active service in Kent, a misprint separating him from his unit in Kenya, Colonel Peege was blown up fatally. His dying wish was to be buried in Sweden, but as he was being blown up at the time, no one heard it, and anyway there wasn't much left to bury, and there probably would have been a misprint placing him instead in Swindon, so that's all for the best then.

At that moment, Paul Hamilton passed by and, sensing unemployment, the camera started following him instead.

Paul has, cleverly or alarmingly fan-boy-y, he forgets which, presented his essay ready-designed in the AP2 style, and has supplied his own footnotes. Toying briefly with the idea of re-editing everything into one long page because no one tells AP2 what to do, Jonathan decided against it, as "he scares me no little." The photograph of a book of matches is a ruse.