*Reader Millington's besuited paymasters at the University of Wolverhampton, where he works as a special adviser in singular studies, were unimpressed with this account of the destruction of outdated cog-boxes. They bade him withdraw the page from his House of Apology.

Fortunately, AP2 was juuuust swift enough to save the spiked document, only to find it was entirely lacking in ban-worthy letter-words.

Still, Mills derives a secret amusement from its continued existence, and who are we to deny him that? Stop hassling us, man, and get on the bus.