"Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair"*

"It was a good idea, Mr Winstanley. A jaunt around a flat, papery globe indicating places of interest to the Amiga community. A sort of overview of the world from an Amiga perspective. Quite ingenious.

"But you made one fatal mistake.

"Telephone numbers, Mr Winstanley. You didn't include any telephone numbers. What might have been an invaluable directory of software companies became a four-page jokeless atlas of no practical use whatsoever."

"Damn you, Inspector, software companies have enough to do without people ringing them up all the time."

"So you'd rather they ring you up? Ring you up all the time, Mr Winstanley, asking when Putty Squad is going to be released, or if you have an address for Rasputin? It's just as I suspected. This club-footed shoe was a very clever device, but not quite clever enough, my friend."

"What are you on about? What club-footed shoe?"

"Exactly, Mr Winstanley.

"Exactly."

"You damned interfering jackanapes! Aaarghh!"

"He was right there, Inspector. Ho ho."

"Yes. Ho ho."

"Shall I give him an extra hoof for the appalling geography, sir?"

"Oh, I knew I'd done that all along."

"Hang on, you were green just now."

"Bloody wri