They say you always hurt the ones you love. (The ones you shouldn't hurt at all.)

But if the ones you love are all completely mad in the head, what then?

What then?

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You know, dear chums, sometimes I think I'm the only person on this panel who isn't completely bonkers in the nut.

Let's look at the evidence:

T Mott: "Sony are guilty of shocking overpricing, despite publishing the cheapest games in the country."

V Berlin: "Lara Croft is appallingly sexist, for the sole reason of having a pretty face and a large bosom."

L Bunder: Goodnight everybody!

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Let's clear a couple of things up here.

Firstly, all videogames are overpriced. Picking on Sony, though, the only company (before Nintendo's act of clear desperation last week) EVER to actually bring the prices of their games DOWN, is bizarre to say the least.

(Oh, and the only company to ever, as far as I can recall, bring out a range of budget software for consoles.)

Okay, Tone, it was wrong you didn't get in Sony's ECTS party. But get over it.

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And as for the unfeasible Ms Croft, well, what's the news?

Gratuitous decorative females have been used since the videogames business first drew breath to make iffy games more attractive to adolescent boys - mostly in the guise of far more offensive stereotypes - without fuss.

Lara doesn't get her kit off, is her own woman, and is the game's central character rather than just a token bimbo. Surely sexism is in the way you ACT, not what you look like? Right?

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And don't think I haven't been keeping my Eye Of Justice on you too, Biffo.

Now, it's all very well doing Hot Topics and terrifically funny features about how games mags give games with useless one-player modes great scores because of the network game, which real people, of course, have no access to.

But remind me - X-Wing vs TIE Fighter (one of the dullest single-player games ever invented) - 93%, wasn't it?

Maybe you were sick that day, Biffy.

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Yep, the case is clear - everyone's stark raving loopy except me and Fat Sow, which means I share the voice of reason with a talking pig.

That probably goes to prove something tremendously deep and important, but I have no idea what it might be.

Don't worry, though, chums. It'll be a cold day in Hell, or Stuart N Hardy will make an interesting and novel point, before I go the same way.