Blimey, that time of the month again, eh? Actually I can't complain, my devious ploy of going on holiday last month to avoid having to write a subscriber's letter worked perfectly, so we've both been spared 400 words of semi-coherent old waffle for a few weeks. Still, can't put it off forever, eh?

So, what gorgeous examples of shiny breathtaking loveliness can you look forward to when you whip open the covers of this quite literally 14th issue of Britain's Biggest-Selling Amiga Games Magazine? Well, for starters there's a really fabulous and superbly well-written feature looking at all the football games that'll be coming out this summer, and then there's, er, some other stuff. Who cares, frankly? (I do. Start talking about the bits you didn't write or you're fired - Ed)

Okay, so there are some reviews too, including such top titles as The Addams Family, John Barnes European Football, and the new release from the creators of our favourite game of all time, Graftgold's Fire And Ice. We rejoin Sensible Software's David Korn to catch up with his Diary Of A Game, and - at last - we run our so-definitive-it-hurts joystick guide.

What else? Well, as usual we've got lots of subtle references to obscure songs that go straight over the heads of 90% of our readership (hey, if it works for The Mary Whitehouse Experience...), some extremely poor-quality puns, and picture captions that look like we've accidentally left bits of text in from last month. Terrible spelling mistakes by Matt are in plentiful supply, and there's no shortage of all your favourite excuses for why we haven't got all the things we promised on last month's 'Next Month' column. You want totally gratuitous abuse for The Bitmap Brothers and Kick Off 2? You've got it. And this issue also represents absolutely your last chance to get a free copy of Robocod, Celtic Legends or Oh No! More Lemmings if you renew your subscription. Honest. Could you possibly ask for more?

No, thought not. In which case, I'd like to put this remaining space to good use by talking for a little while about a matter that's been weighing heavily on all our minds for quite some time now. We've been collating hundreds and hundreds of reader survey forms for the last three weeks or so as they flood in by the mailbagful, and a disturbing trend has emerged. Almost every single reader who's sent in a survey form claims that their favourite band in the whole world ever is...Queen. What's the matter with you? One of them's dead, for God's sake! One of them's got a - I can hardly say the words - a shaggy perm! And nobody can even remember the names of the other two! Queen? Queen? Why do we bother?

Stuart Campbell

Special Constable 196

The Taste Police