A warm greeting Good evening. Permit me, Lord Augustus de Jesus, to welcome you most cordially with a warm, manly handshake to the GENTLEMAN'S MAME PARLOUR.

The Parlour is dedicated to promoting HEALTHFUL COMPETITION between players of such coin-operated MACHINES OF SKILL as are reproduced by the Multiple Arcade Machine Emulator.

One is aware of DISREPUTABLE HIGH-SCORE DENS, but only the Parlour properly demands its champions play in a SPORTING and GENTLEMANLY manner.

The Gentleman's Code details the rules by which electric prestidigitation is governed. Players MUST ADHERE to the code for their SCORES TO BE RECOGNISED.

The patrons of the Parlour are known as the most SKILFUL and right-thinking players in the free gaming world, and readers can wish for no higher honour to be BESTOWED UPON them than elevation by their peers to the ANNALS OF REMARKABLY SPLENDID ENDEAVOUR.

The GENTLEMAN'S MAME PARLOUR is a celebration of the CORINTHIAN IDEAL over BRUTISH FORCE and the mechanical exercising of PATTERNS, and is reformatory in its embracing of LADY COMPETITORS; for a LADY may of course be a GENTLEMAN too. The Parlour does not engage in the FOUL PRACTICE of discrimination, except against those who are POOR and REEK OF CHIMNEYS.



1. The gentleman does not RELY on superior or SUPPLEMENTARY WEAPONRY.
2. The gentleman KILLS ONLY in retaliation.
3. The gentleman serves the public TRUST.
4. The gentleman does not PERMIT the suffering of the INNOCENT.
5. The gentleman BIDS JUSTICE prevail.
6. The gentleman uses only the POWERS accorded him by ALMIGHTY GOD.
7. The gentleman does not STEP FROM THE PATH of righteousness.
8. The gentleman OBSERVES the spirit of SPORTSMANSHIP.
9. The gentleman CONDUCTS himself with SEEMLY DIGNITY.
10. The gentleman shall IMPRESS upon OTHERS these qualities by his CHARITABLE ACTIONS.

Observing the Code
A healthy body equals a healthy score
"Hoi Hup La!"